I sat at a conference today on Autism. Two very different speakers, one verged on rudeness, giving his reality and experience of special educators and what we do to kids with significant learning and social needs. He spoke very openly about our segregation of these kinds of students and our ignorance and discomfort of "dealing" with them in our societies over the last 40 years. He scoffed at teachers, poked fun of administration, insulted parents, insulted himself, quoted statistics on the jobless rate for this population (95% by the way). He was so very frank, but truthful. He dared to say the things we've all been guilty of thinking and doing, but he just called us out if you will. Bottom line...really examine the relationships we build with these individuals because they will have a lifetime of limited experiences. Their intelligence does not and will not allow them the same environments to explore, so we need to make things worthwhile and meaningful daily. We worry too much about the "right" things related to academics, teaching addition instead of subtraction, but what we forget often is that it is the simplest thing we will do that is "right". Life is about socialization, interaction, smiles, gestures, being close. To laugh with someone, to see the light in their eyes, to enjoy time with them, everyone. That is life...to be included.

The other speaker was a mother of 2 sons with autism. They are 17 and 16 now. She took us on her family's journey of their life so far. Both of her sons are virtually non-verbal and need to be watched 24-7. She spoke of course about the adventures related to their schooling and the challenges they faced wanting to keep them in the general education setting. She was quite an amazing woman to listen to. Her strength, devotion, calmness, intelligence, love. It just radiated around her. It's listening to stories like this that you ask yourself, "How did they/are they doing it?" The obstacles, the sleepless nights, the doubting, the self-pity, the guilt, the empowerment, the optimism, the faith, one can only imagine the ride they have been on. I listen to people and seminars like this wearing two hats...the educator and the mom.

The educator in me gets softened a little and reminded that when I work with families, although I may not always agree with them on a professional level, they are the expert on their child. We as parents are all experts on our own child. Don't ever let anyone tell you differently. Many people have their own opinion, but let's face it, you are their mom and dad!

The mom in me gets softened also. I realize the blessings of my children and my life. The blessing of their speech, minds, bodies, giggles, hugs. I can't imagine what it would be like not to hear their voices or stories of the day. These parents won't ever hear it in the same way. The most gut-wrenching thing she said today, "It hit me when they (the boys) were about 7 & 8, Joe and I will never be grandparents."

If you are reading this, you are so blessed, live life, love life, we are all so precious, take time to just notice and soak it all in!