A new perspective

The first day of school...Allison on the new bus, Melissa and the twins off to Holly's, no one forgot anything (BONUS!), hugs and kisses, and out the door to the office. The office rearranged, contact paper still messed up, new markers, put out the wedding photo, way too old pictures of the kids, but still so cute! cold lunch in the fridge, coffee, mingled with teachers over homemade cinnamon rolls (thanks Judy!), 50+ new faces in kindergarten, caseload list shows 36 of the same kids as last year (yup, the ones with behavior...still in the district), 10 new challenges, some with severe needs, some teachers with old ideas, parents who struggle with accepting their child's needs, administration wanting one more thing... the year begins.

We can sometimes get stuck in one way of thinking, our way or the highway. Right or wrong. Black and white. The title of my blog has changed because the first day of school is always a good time for a new perspective. It's really easy to start the year on the negative, remembering all that was done or not done last year. All the conversations in the lounge, the he said/she said, the administration who doesn't seem to get it, the "bad" kids from last year, but this year, I'm starting differently, with my new hat: Tolerance/mediator.

Being able to see both sides, I mean really 'feel' the other side doesn't come naturally to everyone. Today someone said, "But the parents just don't get it. They don't see how low he is and how he doesn't fit into this classroom." My response, "I can see how there is a huge difference in his ability, but we also need to think about their grieving process." What ever their reasons whether we agree or not really doesn't matter. So until the parents work their way through the process we need to provide the best education. How can we make that happen for him, today, right now. No right or wrong, just tolerance and a little empathy. Did you ever notice that most meetings are complaining and not much action? You spend time venting without any real problem solving. And hence I donned the tolerance/mediator hat. I will be wearing it for the next 171 school days. No more time for eye-rolling, sitting at meetings saying nothing, then talking about it later with others. That doesn't accomplish anything. As the John Mayer song says: Say what you mean to say. But I'm adding to do it with tolerance and listening, not force.

Now, please don't begin to confuse this hat with the referee or judge hat worn for my family. You see with the referee/judge one I get to be the jury, listen to both sides, dole out punishments, community service or even the occasional jail time. Deals are made, hard time is given, sentences may be lightened, early parole can be given for good behavior. And yes even the occasional "rat-fink" can be bribed with candy! But all kidding aside, tolerance and listening and empathy apply here, too.