Better left unsaid

How do we know when to say what comes to mind or when to hold back? What makes comments proper or not? Who's in charge? The speaker who quotes the 5th amendment stating I have the right therefore I will!! Or the listener, the receiver of the comment. The one who is affected by the words. All too often we think we have the right to say whatever we want, when ever we want just because we thought it. But do we? Is that what we are taught by our parents, teachers or Him?

In the last two weeks I've found myself holding back thoughts, deliberately. Mainly because the majority of my audience is new. I've focused on the listening so I could get to know people better. I've been thinking about responses to question and situations even before I get in them. I've been aware of who I am talking with and who they might know. It's funny how you get to know a person a little better when you do the listening. Not listening, judging, compiling a different viewpoint and then taking over the conversation. I mean just listening. In my position right now I don't feel I can show all my cards upfront, I need to see who else is playing in the hand and what cards they are holding.

But what happens after we know their hand? We build that relationship. Then what, all bets are off? Do we then take it upon ourselves to always be professing our view without thinking first of the consequence?

I truly believe we DO NOT have the right to always say what's on our mind. The defenses are usually:
"Well I have the right to say what I think, they can react however they want."
"If I don't say it, I'm not being honest."
"I'm saying this for your own good."
"You don't have to agree with me, but I have the right to tell you where I stand"

Saying what we have on our minds often makes us feel better, clears our conscience, lets us toot our own horn. Our words, each and every sentence falls on the ears of someone. If what we said made no difference, the world would be silent. We speak because it changes situations and people. Our words affect people. Even the short sentences, not just the long diatribes. We need to be careful, tactful, think before we speak. Really ask "Why do I feel the need to say this, for my own good or yours?" Messages can be misunderstood, trust lost and relationships challenged by the words we choose. I teach the kindergarten students a lesson on Helpful vs Hurtful sentences and words. Somewhere the lesson gets lost as they grow older. I wonder why?

I think our world would be a much kinder, peaceful and more tolerant place if we left a little more unsaid each day.